Uncovered, by Cosmic [Firefly]

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

Author: Cosmic cosmic
Title: Uncovered
Fandom: Firefly
Characters: Simon, River, various.
Disclaimer: Whedon's.
Summary: River is crying.
Notes: More than a little fuzzy, probably, because I could not find one of my girls for quicky-beta duty this late. Sorry about that.





River is crying, and Simon does not know what set her off this time. Kaylee mouths 'I'm sorry', takes the little balls they were playing with, and leaves them alone in the cargo bay.

"Simon says, Simon says be a good girl and maybe I'll teach you a game later. You didn't teach me the game." Her eyes are clear and accusing. "You promised."

He sighs, trying to understand what memory she has recovered now. "They were always there, but hidden, so I couldn't find them."

"I'm sorry?"

"A game with eight metal balls and a small wooden one. You throw towards the small one, the prize, trust it to guide you like gravity, the center of your universe."

Simon remembers a game that might be the one she is speaking of, but he did teach her that. She left for the academy the very next day.

"You came to me, for the prize, but they won, Simon, because they're closer."

"Closer to what?"

River's eyes snap open, dangerous and foreign. "Closer to me, two by one. There are two of them, one of you." As an afterthought, her voice a whisper: "They'll win."

Simon wants to tell her she is wrong. There are people who will help them. Captain Reynolds, Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Inara, Book, maybe even Jayne, but he cannot tell her things that he does not fully believe in.

*

River is crying. Simon can hear her sobs, her screams. She is in their room, and Simon cannot *get* to her, because the door is locked. She should not even know *how* to lock the door. More than that, it should not be possible to lock that door in the first place. Captain Reynolds said, he *promised* he would not lock River into that room.

She gets claustrophobic in spaces she is unable to leave from, the newest fear brought on by the recovered memories from the week before. "They were always there, but hidden, so I couldn't find them."

Finally, he breaks down the door, holds his sister tightly against him, whispering "you're safe" and other things that will never be quite true until his voice is hoarse, until she calms down and falls asleep.

The Captain had promised. That he would betray his word comes as a shock to Simon, but he will not storm to the bridge and demand for an explanation or punch Reynolds in the face. Instead, he just files the knowledge for later, as River's voice whispers to him, "trust no one."

It does not occur to him that there are other ways the door could have been locked.

*

River is crying in their room, Simon's arms are around her, and she keeps mumbling something into his shoulder. Mal is right there beside him, she was so loud she woke him up by screaming. She was screaming words in a language neither of them know, something that might be English, but is not

"Tell me what's wrong," he says, "please tell me, so I can help you."

"I killed a butterfly when I was eight, a species that exists no more, because I was dancing and I stepped on it, by accident. It's wings fluttered and shattered, Simon, please help me."

Captain Reynolds gives Simon a long look, then shakes his head sadly. They would be having a long discussion soon, of that Simon was sure. He just did not yet know whether the Captain would want them gone or River sedated for good or what? He was not an easy man to figure out, no matter how simple he might seem at first.

Simon goes over River's words, "No, River, you didn't do anything. I thought it was a fly, but it wasn't. I killed that--" River is shaking her head, fresh tears in her eyes. "River?"

"I stepped on it and it died. We buried next to your dinosaur, by the apple tree. Mama sang. She was wearing a blue suit when she stood with us."

He holds her gaze and nods, "You're right. That's how it happened." He kisses her on the forehead, leaves, the Captain hot on his heels.

They get to the infirmary, to his own sanctuary of blood and gauze, before he asks Simon what the in the name of all things holy is going on.

"My mother couldn't sing to save her life. She hated wearing suits. River burned my dinosaur as an experiment."

"Huh?"

"It's a code." Simon looks straight ahead, lost in nothing and in the fluorescent lights.

"What are you on about? Doctor?" The Captain shakes a hand in front of his face. He blinks hard, battling tears, knowing that soon he would lose the battle. "Simon?"

"It's a code, like the one she used to get me to come for her, to steal her away from them." His own voice sounds dull and monotonous to him, but it is the only way he can say this without betraying his feelings, betraying her. He stays lost in his memories for a while: his father walking away, leaving them, his sister frozen in a box for her own good, his sister's screams when Captain Reynolds woke her from her sleep. All of that, all of that was *simple*, all of that was for nothing...

"Trust no one." The message was not meant to be about everybody else, it was meant to be about *her*, about River, about his genius sister. The game, the balls, gravity, memories that are not real, River crying, the locked door; all of that to warn him that things are not right, that she is not right.

She taught him this code once already, twice if he counts the game she came up with when he was twelve and she was six. "They were always there, but hidden, so I couldn't find them."

His face is wet with tears when he looks at the Captain again. In defeat, he concludes: "This time, it's to tell me they won."


-fin